Memories of Feathery Wings
by esprit en deuil
Summary: This is an AU story that is set pre-series. Tony had always felt the calling to help people, so it's only natural he would turn to law enforcement after he loses everything he used to live for after his fall from grace. Angel!Tony (well fallen Angel but technically I think he can still be classified as Angel...)
1. Chapter 1

_**A/N: Hiya guys, I'm back! Long time no fics... It has been a crazy year. I finally graduated and am officially a nurse, Yay!, I start a new job, working at the ER next month so freaking out and excited about that. My beta reader kinda stopped working with me but show must go on, right? So this fic is not beta read so I'm sorry for any and all mistakes, I'm still Finnish and my english is still not perfect :D . This short piece is currently all there is of this fic, but I am hoping to turn this into a multi chaptered story that may or may not turn into slash (so many ideas...) but I'm not making any promises at the moment as far as the schedule goes. But I hope you enjoy what little I have :) This is set pre-series and is definitely an AU fic. **_

Tony ran a hand through his longish brown hair before awkwardly rubbing his aching shoulders and upper back and sighing heavily. Even though it had been years it still hurt. Maybe that was the point really, to bear the marks of his own failure forever so that he would never get peace from them.

Well it could be worse he supposed. He had a job that mattered and he was healthy, it was far from the hell he deserved.

The fact that things could be worse didn't make the ache and longing go away though.

Maybe if it all hadn't been so pointless, so meaningless in the grand scheme of things. Maybe then he could feel some sense of righteousness, but as it was, he just felt that he lost it all for nothing.

Well maybe not nothing.

He had stopped something really bad from happening, just unfortunate for him he'd been on the wrong side of things to begin with and his last minute hesitation didn't change the fact that he'd been wrong and that his mistake had almost cost lives. He'd always wanted to do good, but in the end his gullibility and good faith had been his downfall.

Oh what a twisted sense of humor God must have to do this to him. Well he did deserve it, he deserved a lot worse really, the traitor that he was. But somewhere someone took pity on him and he got a second chance of sorts.

And he appreciated it, oh he did.

But he still missed what had been. What he'd lost.

His mind was running in circles, rather melancholy and sad circles that dragged him deeper into the depression he was feeling. He took a drink from the beer he was holding and grimaced at the taste. No matter how long he had time to get used to the acrid feeling of alcohol, he just didn't get what the fuss was about and he couldn't wrap his mind around the fact that humans drank it for fun.

Slumping further into the plush cushions of his worn green couch he reached back once more with his free hand to massage the space between his shoulder blades.

Sometimes he stood in front of the mirror with his back facing his reflection and his neck craned so he would be able to see the mark from where his wings once grew. The sight was ugly, though as years went by the marks did fade some.

But they would never go away, that much he was sure of.

The scars were big and jagged though no longer as angry red and black as the day his wings had been burnt so nothing was left but charred wounds where his wings used to be. It had hurt in more ways than one. It still did.

Just thinking about the agony made his insides clench and he cursed under his breath.

At one point in time he would never have even thought of letting out such profanities, but now it was all the same and he was left to wander around the earth trying to find redemption though he wasn't sure there was any for him. Maybe he was destined to go through this life and end up down in the pit once he was done leading a life of misery, trying in vain to find his way back to heaven, though he was unsure whether he would ever be done.

Some might say he was being overly dramatic, but the sad truth was that he was only being realistic.

He was a fallen angel, one that had caused his fall all by himself. He didn't have the luxury of going through life not knowing what was to come in the afterlife, no way of pretending this was all good enough.

Humans had the misguided thought that knowing would make it all easier, but knowing for sure what was at stake made everyday life that much worse since you were acutely aware of how much you had to lose while the pressure of knowing what there really was to gain might have been enough to push many over the edge.

He knew what was waiting after death. He just didn't know if he would ever get there again. He wasn't even sure he had a chance anymore or if he deserved one. As far as he knew, no angel had ever earned their wings back once they were deemed unworthy to carry them anymore.

Tony shook his head to rid himself of that thought before putting down the bottle and stretching. He'd had enough of the pity party for now, besides he needed to be ready for work in the morning. You never knew what the new day would bring and as a cop he at least had a chance to make a difference and to try and help humans.

Even though he wasn't an angel anymore he still had the empathy of one and his hands still carried a trace of his once healing touch. It was torture having the ability to feel so much of the pain others carried and not being able to help. Just another aspect of his punishment, as was that if he used what little he had left of his healing touch, he would draw physical pain on himself and still not be able to heal the person completely. It was killing him to watch the suffering the earth was filled with and not be able to do anything about it.

But it wasn't the time to dwell on that, it was time to get some rest. Tony had heard on the grapevine that their current case had gotten the interest of the big boys in DC and he wasn't looking forward to having to deal with some navy cops or FBI guys throwing their weight around and trying to take his case.

He wasn't letting this one go, he couldn't let it go. He had to right the wrong that was happening.

He had a feeling that tomorrow was going to be another rough day of working hard to try and survive. Another day of trying to forget how much he missed home and his feathery wings.

TBC...?


	2. Chapter 2

_**A/N: Here I am again with a new chapter! Thank you so much to everyone who took the time to write me a review for the first chapter. I'm so excited about this fic so it's good to know that other people are interested in it too. Another thing I am excited about is the fact that I was blessed with a new beta who is wonderful and I'm looking forward to working with her on this fic and hopefully more fics in the future *wink wink* so thank you to Arress for her input and her work on this chapter. **_

The squad room of the police station was bustling with activity. So many cases that needed to be solved and so many bad guys to be caught. Everyone was busy working at their desks running down leads or doing paperwork, but none of the activity registered in Tony's mind as he looked down at the pictures on his desk for the hundredth time and wished that something, anything would jump at him and help him figure out what happened. He took out all the information they had on the case and started methodically to re-evaluate it for evidence of who the perp was they were looking for.

The real perp.

He spared a glance at the picture of petty officer James Sterling who had been found dead the day before in his apartment in eastern Baltimore. The man was young and his background suggested that he was an upstanding marine who had done his best to protect and serve his country and do right by it. That's unless you looked into the evidence that suggested that he was part of a drug dealing ring and murdered two of its members in cold blood and decided to off himself when the cops got too close to him.

Tony didn't buy it. Deep down he knew without a shadow of a doubt that the man was innocent and had been murdered.

The trouble was, everyone else was convinced by the evidence including the police chief and marine officials, and so in a week the Marine would be buried in disgrace with none of the honor the marine deserved. He would be stripped of all his medals and his passing wouldn't be marked by a full military funeral, but by that of a traitor and a criminal. His memory would be tarnished and his family would have none of the peace they would have had if they could remember their loved one as the hero he was.

Not to mention the fact that you didn't get into heaven if you killed yourself. And though God would surely know the truth, Tony needed to know the man didn't fight for his country just to lose it all because of something so trivial as money and drugs.

After spending so many years struggling to cope with the cruelty and the senselessness of humans, he needed something to help him hold on to the thought that there was still some humanity and righteousness in the world. Murder was never pretty and it was always a horrible and stupid waste. He couldn't stop those things from happening any more than he could make them come undone, but he could get justice for those that had passed and lost their lives.

He looked down at the picture of the marine once more and wondered what made this particular man so special to him, why this one was so much more meaningful than all the other victims before him. It was so annoying to feel all like his spidey sense was tingling, but the connection was broken so he couldn't figure out the signal and what it meant. His brain was itching and he couldn't figure out how to scratch it.

A sudden commotion in the hall made him look up and abandon his contemplation in favor of investigating the new disturbance. He made sure he had his gun by his side and made his way to the hall with the rest of the people who had been working at their respective desks. Seeing people crowding the corridor confirmed that there was no immediate danger involved with the situation so Tony let his stance relax and took his hand off his holstered weapon, but his curiosity made him push his way through the mass of people.

"I don't care about the protocol, I want to see the man in charge of the investigation!" The man frightening the receptionist was maybe in his late forties and had a salt and pepper hair bordering on going all salt on him. The haircut suggested marine or former one and his stance was stiff, and it was obvious he was doing his best to intimidate his way into the precinct and out with whatever he wanted. By that assessment it was clear to Tony that this man was from the NCIS, and seeing as he was the only one running an investigation involving marines of any sort, it came as no surprise when he heard the timid voice of the receptionist identify him as the man to talk to. Though it came as no surprise, it still made him groan when the receptionist pointed him out and everyone turned to look at him like they expected it to be the last time they saw him with his head attached to the rest of his body.

The man turned his steely blue eyes at him and Tony could practically feel their gaze boring into him as the man made his way through the crowd that parted to let him pass.

"You in charge of the Sterling case?" The man questioned as he obviously sized up the officer standing in front of him. Tony did his own assessment and within minutes figured out that the man standing in front of him was a hard but just man with a cause, though he wasn't sure what that cause was just yet. He got the vibe that this man was honorable and essentially a good man, but it wouldn't have been the first time his instincts led him astray, so he wasn't willing to make any decisions just yet. Besides, there was something simmering just under the surface that made him weary of the man.

"Yes, I am. Anthony DiNozzo at your service." He plastered on a bright grin and extended a hand to the stranger who looked down at it sceptically, when the hand was ignored he shook the rejection off and only grinned brighter "And you are?"

"Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs, NCIS. I'm the man who is taking over the case from now on." The smug look on the man's face really rubbed Tony the wrong way, and there was no way he was going to hand the case over. He wouldn't have done that even if it didn't mean so much to him.

"Ah, then I think we have a small problem. See, I'm leading the case and I have no intention of handing the reins over to you, but if you ask nicely I might let you help me."

The startled look on the man's face was priceless and Tony could see the man pull himself even straighter and size him up again and re-evaluate the assessment he'd made earlier. He was dimly aware of the bustle picking up around them as people lost interest in the situation, and only few people stayed to see how the events would play out.

"I have jurisdiction," Gibbs asserted with confidence, as if that would win him the right to steal the case.

"We're on my turf." Tony challenged, oddly enjoying the tug-of-war.

"I have a better forensic lab at my disposal."

"I know the case inside and out, plus I have officers here who can help." Tony looked pointedly behind the other man. "As I can see you didn't bring a team with you."

When Gibbs opened his mouth to respond, Tony cut him off. He'd had enough of the game. It was time to bring in the tie breaker. "Look, you can either fight me on this and we can lose time we don't have before the real killer gets away with everything he's done, or we can agree to work together and get that son of a bitch so that a marine gets the justice he deserves. I am not letting this case go without one hell of a fight."

The words obviously surprised the other man and the two locked eyes for a long time as the agent tried to figure out if the man was telling the truth or not. Obviously he saw something in the Italian's eyes that convinced him of his seriousness, as he gave a curt nod.

"What makes you so sure Sterling didn't do it?" The question was asked in a neutral tone, but Tony let out a breath he'd been holding as he realized that the man was willing to give him a chance and hear him out. It didn't mean that he agreed with him, though.

Tony nodded his way towards one of the interview rooms at the back, and on the way there he grabbed the file from his desk that held the details of the case. The agent followed him without a word, but his raised eyebrow demanded the explanation had been be a damn good one.

Tony took a deep breath as he closed the door behind the other man and spread the contents of his file on the table in front of him.

"Ray White and Jose Santos were killed the day before yesterday in what was believed to be a drug deal gone bad. They were found in an abandoned industrial plant after a worker tipped us about suspicious activity in the area. The worker says he witnessed a man fitting Sterling's description run away from the building the bodies were found at just before he called the cops. We found no other evidence to give us a suspect, but a few hairs one of the victims had obviously grabbed from the killer during a struggle before he was killed with a shot to the chest." Tony pulled out pictures of the crime scene and spread them on the table as he told about the events.

"The hairs had no nuclear DNA in them, but our tech was able to pull mitochondrial DNA that supposedly should narrow down our list of suspects, only we weren't able to find a match in the system. Then we got an anonymous tip that a marine had been seen with our two vics the night of the murder. Convenient wasn't it? When we got to Sterling's apartment after the call it was too late." Tony laid down the picture of the scene that had greeted them when they entered the marine's apartment.

"Our ME found traces of heroin in his system and we found a stash under his bed with street value over 100,000 dollars. Our ME ruled the cause of death to be the gunshot wound to the head. He ruled the death as suicide and once his DNA came back as matching the mDNA we found at the first scene, everyone agreed that it was a case of the marine getting into the drug business and not being able to handle it, and finally killing himself when we got too close to busting him for not only selling drugs, but for the two murders as well. "

"You don't buy it." Gibbs said from his position leaning over the table, studying the pictures and the list of evidence attached to the file.

Tony shook his head "No. It's all too neat and convenient. The marine has no record of being nothing more than a law abiding citizen and honorable marine. His brother had a rep of hanging out with the wrong kind of crowd, but Sterling was always the good one. He had no tracks on his arms or other body parts except for the ones inflicted right before his death, and those looked more like bruises than needle marks, like someone had to use a lot of force to get the needle in, but the ME claimed it was because of his inexperience with drug use. Sterling also has an alibi for the time of the first murders as he was seen at a nightclub around the time of the murders, though his car was seen near the crime scene around the time the call came in. Also, even if the worker saw Sterling, why wasn't he carrying anything? Where did all the money go? What about the drugs? And who gave the tip about Sterling, and it's too much of a coincidence that the call came just around the time of his supposed suicide."

By the time he finished telling his version of events, Tony was on the verge of panting from trying to convince the other man that there was more to this case than met the eye. He was aggravated when the other man just continued to look at the file and not say anything to let him know what he thought of his take of the case. Finally, the agent seemed to have reached a decisions and he looked at the cop.

"I don't believe in coincidences." He looked down at the scattered file before collecting it all into a neat pile and picking it up. He turned to Tony and started issuing orders.

"Have the evidence sent to NCIS headquarters for my lab tech to look at it, and I've already put in orders to have the body re-examined by my ME in DC so it should be en route." He turned to walk towards the door and Tony opened his mouth to protest the apparent stealing of his case when the agent called over his shoulder. "I'm driving, if we get going now we can avoid the afternoon traffic."

Tony looked puzzled as he followed the other man out of the room and grabbed his things from his desk while the other man stood impatiently in front of it.

"And where exactly are we going?" He asked as he grabbed his cell and keys from the desk and pulled on his jacket.

"DC," Gibbs grunted as he deemed the other man ready to go before turning to the exit and trusting the other man to follow him. "I've got a case to solve and I need someone to do the grunt work, so I'm letting you tag along."

It wasn't exactly what he wanted, but Tony wasn't a fool, so he was going to take whatever he could get. He was still on the case and that was the main thing. He straightened his jacket and grabbed his wallet from his desk before hurrying after the agent. "Right behind you, Boss."

TBC...

_**I am working on the next chapter, not sure how long it'll take me to get it ready but you know what they say, patience is a virtue ;)**_


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